De' fliengde Vuogtlänn'r

Observations, rants, etc. from a guy who really gets around.


Why Lab Rats Are Smarter Than People

Some time ago, I got to talking with some friends about the pernicious practice evil habit unforgiveble sin cultural practice of "blind dates". I allowed as how my own personal ban on the practice revolved around two observations:

A) under no circumstances whatsoever should a man accept one woman's assessment of another (more on that another time); and

B) the American obsession for setting people up on blind dates allows for absolutely no flexibility. The script is to be followed to the letter at all times.

Regarding the second point, I noted that when lab rats are confronted with what clearly does not work (i.e. a blank wall/blind end), they turn around and find a different way. Would that some people were that way.

It should be noted that my last blind date was in 1975. Dinners with Linksters I had only known on-line beforehand don't count.

As regards that last fiasco blind date back in '75: I was living in Provo and some fiends would-be "friends" of mine twisted my arm conned me talked me into going to a "Sadie Hawkins" dance with them. Even though the women were supposed to be asking the men, the roommate of one of their dates had no one to go with and I was being shanghaied blackmailed recruited into filling in. How it was that I had to ask her instead of the other way around was never explained to me.

I came up with what I thought was an eminently reasonable solution: One of the miscreants was going over to his gf's apartment anyway, so I suggested that he take me along. The poor soul victim person in question would have a chance to meet me, without her knowing that I was to be the sacrificial lamb her "date" for the evening. As I explained, if I knuckled under gave the green light, all would be well in Happy Valley. But if I recoiled in horror declined, she would never know what almost happened (unless someone ratted me out).

No dice. It absolutely had to be "blind".

Although the evening was not quite the unmitigated disaster I had expected, it was uncomfortable enough for both of us. Which was really sad, because she was actually a very nice person. Had the circumstances been allowed to be different, who knows what might have resulted?

To this day, I say that if Moses had known about blind dates, there'd've been another Commandment.


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