De' fliengde Vuogtlänn'r

Observations, rants, etc. from a guy who really gets around.


Natural Laws of the Universe

Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Bath Theorem:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. If you try to prove that it does work, it won't.

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theatre Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering... are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location:
No matter where you go... there you are.

Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible... if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.


At 00:04, Blogger Lucy Stern said...

All are quiet true. One that I dub, is the minute you sit down the phone will ring...happens every time.

At 07:25, Blogger Jahn said...

Did you know that the modern bathtub was invented in 1850, but the telephone wasn't invented until 1876? If you had lived back then, you could've sat in the bathtub for 26 years without worrying about the phone ringing. :-)

At 09:11, Blogger T. F. Stern said...

"Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it."

There is an extention to Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, your local retail store will discontinue selling that product.

All my adult life I've tried products on my psoriasis and none of them worked until we found one this past year on a clearance isle. Once I tried it and was willing to buy more, they no longer sell it.

At 15:04, Blogger Jahn said...

That's how it was with those mugs. I bought two and they stopped making 'em. There've been a lot of things like that.


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