Company Leave Policy

To: All Employees
Subj: New Leave Policy

1. Sickness: No excuse! We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as proof, as we believe that if you are able to go to a doctor, you are able to come to work.

2. Leave of Absence: (For an operation) We will no longer allow this practice. We wish to discourage any thoughts that you might need an operation, as we believe that as long as you are an employee here, you will need all of whatever you have, and you should not consider having anything removed. Also, we hired you as you are and anything removed would certainly make you less than what we bargained for.

3. Death: (Other than your own) This is no excuse. There is nothing you can do for them, and we feel sure that someone else with a lesser position can attend to the arrangements. However, if the funeral can be held in the late afternoon, we will be glad to let you off 30 minutes early, provided that your share of the work is ahead enough to keep things going in your absence.

4. Death: (Your own) This will be accepted as an excuse, BUT we must have two weeks advance notice, as we feel it is your duty to train someone else to do your job.

5. Also, entirely too much time is being spent in the restrooms. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, those whose names begin with "A" will go from 8:15 to 8:30, "B" will go from 8:30 to 8:45, and so on. If you are unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait until your turn comes around again.