De' fliengde Vuogtlänn'r

Observations, rants, etc. from a guy who really gets around.


Nutty Nursery Rhymes

Mary had a little lamb
its fleece was white as snow
and everywhere that Mary went

she stepped verrrrrry carefully.

Little Tom tinker
sat on a clinker

Dumb ass

Rock-a-bye baby
in the tree top

How the frell did the baby get in the tree top?

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown

and Jill didn't have enough sense not to follow.

Peter Peter Pumpkin eater
had a wife and couldn't keep her

and she took him for everything in the divorce.

Little Miss Muffet
sat on her tuffet
eating her curves away

Jack and Jill went up the hill
each with a buck and a quarter.
Jill came down with two and a half.
Still think they went up for water?

There was an old woman
who lived in a shoe.

Her Visiting Teachers hardly ever came over.

Baa baa, black sheep
have you any wool?

You're kidding, right? I mean, when's the last time you saw a naked sheep?

Hickory, dickory dock
three mice ran up the clock.
The clock struck one

and the other two got away with minor injuries.

Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner,
Eating a mincemeat pie.
He stuck in his thumb
And pulled out a plum,
And said,

"How the heck did this get in here?"

Little Miss Muffet
sat on her tuffet
eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
and sat down besider her

and said "Whatcha got in the bowl, wench?"


At 14:23, Blogger Debra said...

ROFL! Where did you get these?

At 15:01, Blogger Jahn said...

My late brother and I made up most of 'em when we were kids. :-)


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