De' fliengde Vuogtlänn'r

Observations, rants, etc. from a guy who really gets around.

3.6.09

Nutty Nursery Rhymes

Mary had a little lamb
its fleece was white as snow
and everywhere that Mary went


she stepped verrrrrry carefully.

~~~~~
Little Tom tinker
sat on a clinker


Dumb ass

~~~~~
Rock-a-bye baby
in the tree top


How the frell did the baby get in the tree top?


~~~~~
Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown


and Jill didn't have enough sense not to follow.


~~~~~
Peter Peter Pumpkin eater
had a wife and couldn't keep her


and she took him for everything in the divorce.


~~~~~
Little Miss Muffet
sat on her tuffet
eating her curves away



~~~~~
Jack and Jill went up the hill
each with a buck and a quarter.
Jill came down with two and a half.
Still think they went up for water?



~~~~~
There was an old woman
who lived in a shoe.

Her Visiting Teachers hardly ever came over.


~~~~~
Baa baa, black sheep
have you any wool?


You're kidding, right? I mean, when's the last time you saw a naked sheep?


~~~~~
Hickory, dickory dock
three mice ran up the clock.
The clock struck one

and the other two got away with minor injuries.


~~~~~
Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner,
Eating a mincemeat pie.
He stuck in his thumb
And pulled out a plum,
And said,


"How the heck did this get in here?"


~~~~~
Little Miss Muffet
sat on her tuffet
eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
and sat down besider her


and said "Whatcha got in the bowl, wench?"

2 Comments:

At 14:23, Blogger Debra said...

ROFL! Where did you get these?

 
At 15:01, Blogger Jahn said...

My late brother and I made up most of 'em when we were kids. :-)

 

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