De' fliengde Vuogtlänn'r

Observations, rants, etc. from a guy who really gets around.

12.5.11

More Movie Fun

This grew out of a contest in the Washington Pest back in '02. I've added to the list over the years, but I'm too lazy to go back and see if I'd already posted this.

The contest was to change on word in a movie title and come up with a whole new synopsis. (In one case, I didn't even need to change the title.)

"Fahrenheit 450"
Futuristic book-burners just can't seem to get the bonfires going.



"How Green Was My Valley?"
Aging Welsh miner develops amnesia.



"Fear and Loafing in Las Vegas"
Indolent casino workers worry about keeping their jobs.



"Diet Hard"
Bruce Willis spends his entire Christmas vacation trying to get his weight down.



"The Bitches of Madison County"
Photographer Eastwood just can't seem to get women to pose for him.



"Never on Saturday"
Intellectual boob travels from Greece to Israel, links up with earthy prostitute.



"Where the Boys Aren't"
Connie Francis, Yvette Mimieux and the gang mistakenly spend spring break at the wrong beach.



"Lost Remake of Beau Geste"
Overlooked re-do of the classic is found in the archives.



"Fletch Live!"
Bumbling reporter with multiple-personality disorder tries his hand at stand-up comedy.



"Once Upon a Time in the East"
Hired killer seeks to eliminate landowner blocking extension of highway.



"That's Entertainment?"
Hollywood stars host a trashfest of movies they can't stand.



"Lady Chatterly's Liver"
Years of debauched living finally catch up with m'lady.



"Realty Bites"
Wynona Ryder agonizes over her life as a real estate agent.



"Laws"
Rogue attorney terrorizes beach-goers.



"Lust of the Mohicans"
Madeleine Stowe starts a few rivalries in the Maine woods.



"Jack the Rapper"
No-talent "singer" terrorizes London.



"Magnum Farce"
Eastwood lightens up with this spoof of cop movies.



"Thirteen Angry Men"
The judge gets mighty upset when the jury's deliberations drag on.



"Pleasure of the Sierra Madre"
Bogey and crew give up prospecting for gold, open tourist brothel instead.



"Rebel Without a Clue"
Teenager tries to escape life of delinquency when his family moves to a new town, but he can't quite figure out how to fit in.



"Shaft's Big Scare!"
Even the toughest private eye has his limits when he gets tangled up with the underworld.



"To Grill A Mockingbird"
A Southern lawyer throws a celebratory BBQ after winning a landmark case.



... and my personal favorite:
"I Married a Mobster From Outer Space"
Gorgeous Gloria Talbott begins to have doubts about her pin-stripe-suited husband from the planet Debronks when he'd rather spend more time with his cauliflower-eared buddies than with her.

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