De' fliengde Vuogtlänn'r

Observations, rants, etc. from a guy who really gets around.


All I Know About Computers

Things You Learn About Computers From the Movies
1. All monitors display 2-inch-high letters.
2. You never have to use the spacebar when typing long sentences.
3. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, have easy-to-understand graphical interfaces.
4. You can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.
5. People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving the data. And it never seems to get lost or deleted
6. A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.
7. Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.
8. All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off.
9. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit data at two gigabytes per second.
10. When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will the entire building.
11. If a disk has got encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you try to access it.
12. No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it'll be readable by any system you put it into. All application software is usable by all computer platforms.
13. Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three-dimensional, real-time, photo-realistic animated graphics capability.
14. Computers never crash during key, high-intensity activities. Humans operating computers never make mistakes under stress.
15. Programs are fiendishly perfect and never have bugs that slow down users.


At 15:18, Blogger T. F. Stern said...

Toss # 7, Last week I was denied access to my own blog as Blogger sent it to the toilet. I spent the last several days working on getting most of it back up and running.


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