The Book of Obi-Jahn*

[* "Obi-Jahn" is my screen name on LinkUp]

Chapter One

1. And it came to pass in the eleventh month of the fifth year of the rule of George the Younger that Obi-Jahn* did arise and saith unto himself "Behold, I will go forth and travel afar to the City of the Lake of Salt and there I will make merry with my friends."

2. And behold, he did arise and gird up his loins and turn his face to the west. And after much travel and travail, he did arrive in the land of the Anasazi, even in the City Duke. And he rested from his travels and rejoiced with his friends.

3. And again he did arise and turn his face to the northwest and traveled even unto the Valley known as Happy, where he did rest from his travels and found shelter with his friend PacheMarshall. And on the morrow he did again arise and traveled northward to the City of the Lake of Salt, where he did find the abode of she who would play.

4. And he did find shelter there and much merriment with friends and acquaintences. And she who would play did show him secret knowledge, even the secrets of geocaching. Wherefore he did cry out, saying "Whoa! This is cool stuff!". And he did rejoice in his new-found knowledge.

5. And it came to pass that he did travel thru the City of the Lake of Salt and did meet with the one who explores. And they did dine together and there was much merriment and rejoicing. And afterwards, they did travel to the House of the Lord, even to the museum on West Temple Street, and were greatly amazed at the artifacts from ancient times, even the times of the Prophet Joseph.

6. Whereupon she saith unto him "Come, let us assemble this bucket, which is here for all to see. We shall make of these pieces a bucket for sap, like unto ancient times, and the people will marvel at our skill." Wherefore they did labor mightily and they did assemble that bucket for sap. And the people were greatly astonished and did marvel at the workmanship of their hands. And it was good.

7. And they did travel south through the City of the Lake of Salt and did come to the house of Denny, where they did dine in the presence of Nephi and the Daughter of Ishmael. And there was great merriment and rejoicing. And it came to pass that the sun did set and they did embrace and take their leave and return to their places of shelter. And it was good.

8. And they did make much merriment and rejoicing on the day after the Day of Thanks, wherefore their hearts and stomachs were full and the merrymakers did return to their abodes with much rejoicing.

Chapter Two

1. And it came to pass that Obi-Jahn did arise and turn his face to the south to travel even unto the city Richfield. But behold, he who was a Real Swinger had given an uncertain signal, wherefore Obi-Jahn knew not whether he should stop.

2. And behold, the Force was strong with him, wherefore he sensed the approaching winter storm and said unto himself "No way, dude!" and he did continue along his way and tarried ot in the city Richfield, lest he become entangled in the snow and must needs tarry among the forks and gnomes.

3. And it came to pass that he did after much travel arrive in the city St. George, where he found respite and abode with the man called G. And they did make merry and speak of mutual interests until long into the night. And they retired to their chambers and did sleep.

4. And when it was morning, they arose, that the man called G. could return to his labors and Obi-Jahn might continue his travels. And as he set forth upon his journey, he proclaimed to himself "What the....? How did it get this cold this far south?". And it was not good.

5. But behold, he turned his face to the south and traveled again, thru the city of Lost Wages. And the warmth returned to his limbs and he did rejoice.

6. And after much travel, he did arrive in the city Kingman, where he did rest from his journey and gather fuel for further travel. And he did cry out to she who is Sweet and Mirthful and Profound and said unto her "I arrive by the setting of the sun. Arise, put on your finery and we shall make merry." And she saith unto him "You got it, dude".

Chapter Three

1. And it came to pass that Obi-Jan did travel to the Valley of the Sun. And because she who is Sweet and Mirthful and Profound did give him good counsel, he did find the way and was not lost among the back streets.

2. And it came to pass that he arrived at the house of RigaTony and found she who is Sweet and Mirthful and Profound. And they did embrace and rejoice that he had finally entered into her presence. And they did dine on fine food, even to fullness, and did make much conversation. And there was much laughter. And it was good.

3. And they did arise and go forth unto the abode of she who is Sweet and Mirthful and Profound. And they did continue their merriment and conversation. And Obi-Jahn saith unto himself "Yea, verily, this is one awesome chick". And she was indeed delightsome and full of merriment.

4. And they did retire to their chambers to rest from their merriment. And it was good.

5. And it came to pass on the next morning that Obi-Jahn did arise and did greet she who is Sweet and Mirthful and Profound as she took her leave and departed for her labors. And as evening broke, she did return, and again they made merry and rejoiced in their friendship. And so great was their joy that they did make a record, engraven in pixels on plates of silicone. And it was good.

6. And again, they retired to their chambers. But it was warmer this night, wherefore he did not freeze his buns off in his caravan, but remained warm. And as morning broke, he did arise and depart.

Chapter Four

1. And it came to pass that Obi-Jahn did arise early, as is his wont. And with a heavy heart, he did turn his face to the east and departed on his journey back to the City Duke.

2. But behold, there was much wickedness and iniquity in the land. Wherefore slothful servants had not properly marked the way and he did wander from his chosen path and found himself in the city Thatcher and came not unto Springerville, where he would fain have gathered fuel for his journey.

3. And he became exceedlingly wroth and cried out, saying "Behold! Who are these morons who have done this abomination? Bring them hence, that I might smight them with the rod of mine anger!". But the people were sore afraid, and durst not speak to Obi-Jahn, lest they provoke his wrath.

4. But behold, there was one who was wise and saith unto him "Yo, dude. Thou hast totally taken the wrong road. Thou must return a ways and travel the road 78. Then shalt thou come unto the road 180 and mayest travel unto the city Springerville." And his heart was softened and he thanked her greatly and proceeded on his journey.

5. And it came to pass that a sign was given to him, which sign saith "Reserve". And the Force was strong with him and he sensee that the road to Reserve might be more favorable, that he might not tarry so long in this strange place.

6. And he did consult with his charts and discovered that the road thru the city Reserve did also lead to the city Datil, where he might continue his journey through the city Magdalena, even unto the city Socorro. And he did set out upon this new course and in due time came unto the city Socorro, where he did rest from his travels and gather fuel.

7. And it came to pass that Obi-Jahn did continue his journey and arrived safely in the City Duke. And there was much rejoicing. And he did cry out to she who is Sweet and Mirthful and Profound and saith unto her "Rejoice with me, for I have arrived safely in the City Duke." And she rejoiced.

8. And he did make inquiry concerning her labors and she did tell him that she had found favor with her overseers inasmuch as they did reward her with an increase. And his heart was full that his friend had fared so well.

9. And he did rest from his travels. And it was good.