You Might Be A Gulf Coast Resident If...

*Three months ago, you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today, you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.
*You catch a 13-pound redfish. In your driveway.
*You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance policy.
*You consider a "vacation" to stunning Tupelo, Mississippi.
*At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chainsaw.
*You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.
*There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.
*You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the Weather Channel.
*Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.
*Ice is a valid topic of conversation.
*Your "drive-thru" meal consists of MREs and bottled water.
*Relocating to Utah does not seem like such a crazy idea.
*You spend more time on your roof than in your living room.
*You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder or a tree worker.
*A battery-powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.
*You don't worry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer.
*Your child's first words, "hunker down" and you didn't go to UGA!
*Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it's Christmas.
*Toilet Paper is elevated to coin of the realm at the shelters.
*You know the difference between the "good side" of a storm and the "bad side".
*Your kids start school in August and finish in July.
*You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.