De' fliengde Vuogtlänn'r

Observations, rants, etc. from a guy who really gets around.


Any Questions?

There comes a point in any job interview where one's intuition kicks in and one knows whether or not one will be getting the job. After that point, the rest is just kabuki theater. Toward the end, about the last thing the interviewer asks is if the candidate has any questions. If the job is "in the bag", the simplest and most obvious question is "When do you want me to start?". If there's no chance of getting hired, questions are pretty much superfluous. The way I see it, though, if you're going to go down, you might as well go down in a blaze of glory.

With that in mind, I figured I'd just keep the following list of questions with me, to be handed over with no more commentary than "Here's a list of questions you could ponder. I won't be holding my breath waiting to hear from you."

1. Are hiring, firing, and promotion in your company based solely on merit, or does the candidate's membership in some Officially Sanctioned Minority group play a major role?

2. Have you ever been sued by an employee, current or former? What were the grounds of the suit and what was the disposition?

3. Which of my Constitutional rights do you consider to be expendable in your quest for profit?

4. How do you handle those who whine about things that are none of their business anyway?

5. In terms of employee compensation, does the expression "You only get what you pay for" have any bearing?

6. Is your occupational health and safety program run primarily by people having technical expertise in the field, or is it run by corporate lawyers?

7. Does your concept of "diversity" include all cultures, or just selected ones?

I'm sure I could come up more more questions in this vein, but these ought to be enough to get 'em frothing at the mouth.



What Privilege?

This quiz has been floating around for a while, and I thought it was a rather curious one. Not that there's the least bit of bias involved in it, mind you. (/sarcasm) At any rate, I thought I'd answer the questions quite fully and more honestly than the originators intended. Your mileage may vary.

1. I can if I wish arrange to be in the company of people of my race most of the time.

Well, since I belong to the human race, that's obviously true. Since, however, we live in such a heterogenous society, it would be false if applied to ethnic groups.

2. I can avoid spending time with people whom I was trained to mistrust and who have learned to mistrust my kind or me.

The only people I was "trained to mistrust" are people who are not trustworthy. I have no idea whether or not the people with whom I come in contact with were "trained" to mistrust me.

3. If I should need to move, I can be pretty sure of renting or purchasing housing in an area which I can afford and in which I would want to live.

Not necessarily. But this would be a bad thing because.... why?

4. I can be pretty sure that my neighbors in such a location will be neutral or pleasant to me.

Nope. Lots of anti-social people out there. I'd have to canvass the entire neighborhood to find out.

5. I can go shopping alone most of the time, pretty well assured that I will not be followed or harassed.

"Followed" or "harassed" by whom? And how? I'm regularly harassed by idiots selling stuff outside the store, morons who "work" in the store, etc.

6. I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely represented.

See #1.

7. When I am told about our national heritage or about "civilization", I am shown that people of my color made it what it is.

Nope. We're regularly bombarded with the revisionist, morally relativistic, politically correct version of "history" that purports that everyone contributed equally to our "civilization".

8. I can be sure that my children will be given curricular materials that testify to the existence of their race.

Only if those children are not Caucasians.

9. If I want to, I can be pretty sure of finding a publisher for this piece on white privilege.

Some people will do anything for money.

10. I can be pretty sure of having my voice heard in a group in which I am the only member of my race.

See #1. Of course, replacing "race" with "ethnic group" results in a "no". The PC crowd really doesn't want to hear my views.

11. I can be casual about whether or not to listen to another person's voice in a group in which s/he is the only member of his/her race.

Whatever that means.

12. I can go into a music shop and count on finding the music of my race represented, into a supermarket and find the staple foods which fit with my cultural traditions, into a hairdresser's shop and find someone who can cut my hair.

Way to lump everything together. What this has to do with "white privilege" is beyond me.

13. Whether I use checks, credit cards or cash, I can count on my skin color not to work against the appearance of financial reliability.

Yup. The Imperial Federal Government has decreed so, human nature notwithstanding.

14. I can arrange to protect my children most of the time from people who might not like them.

Definitely not. The left-wing loonies of this country have already made sure that you have no control over what your children are exposed to.

15. I do not have to educate my children to be aware of systemic racism for their own daily physical protection.

A moot point, since there is no "systemic racism" in this country.

16. I can be pretty sure that my children's teachers and employers will tolerate them if they fit school and workplace norms; my chief worries about them do not concern others' attitudes toward their race.

Since the first part of this completely ignores the morality or immorality of "school and workplace norms", and because children are being coerced into accepting and acting according to those "norms", the answer would have to be "yes". However, the answer to the second part is a resounding "no", precisely because it is the forced inculcation of those socialist, utopianist "norms" that should be our chief concern.

17. I can talk with my mouth full and not have people put this down to my color.

Has this ever happened to anyone? Good manners have absolutely nothing to do with "color" anyway.

18. I can swear, or dress in second-hand clothes, or not answer letters, without having people attribute these choices to the bad morals, the poverty or the illiteracy of my race.

As can everyone.

19. I can speak in public to a powerful male group without putting my race on trial.

Why only a "powerful male group"? Why not any group? Can I "speak in public to a powerful (fe)male group without putting my race (or gender!) on trial"?

20. I can do well in a challenging situation without being called a credit to my race.

No, if I "do well in a challenging situation", the charge is made that it only happened because of "white (male) privilege".

21. I am never asked to speak for all the people of my racial group.

False. It is regularly assumed that I "speak for all the people of my racial group".

22. I can remain oblivious of the language and customs of persons of color who constitute the world's majority without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion.

False. Judgemental people exist in every demographic group.

23. I can criticize our government and talk about how much I fear its policies and behavior without being seen as a cultural outsider.

What exactly is a "cultural outsider"? Moreover, can a non-white praise our government and talk about how much he/she supports its policies and behavior without being seen as a "cultural outsider"?

24. I can be pretty sure that if I ask to talk to the "person in charge", I will be facing a person of my race.


25. If a traffic cop pulls me over or if the IRS audits my tax return, I can be sure I haven't been singled out because of my race.

Another nice admixture of unrelated generalizations.

26. I can easily buy posters, post-cards, picture books, greeting cards, dolls, toys and children's magazines featuring people of my race.

As can everyone else.

27. I can go home from most meetings of organizations I belong to feeling somewhat tied in, rather than isolated, out-of-place, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance or feared.

As can most people. Of course, if I'm trying to undermine the goals of the organization, all bets are off.

28. I can be pretty sure that an argument with a colleague of another race is more likely to jeopardize her/his chances for advancement than to jeopardize mine.

Definitely false.

29. I can be pretty sure that if I argue for the promotion of a person of another race, or a program centering on race, this is not likely to cost me heavily within my present setting, even if my colleagues disagree with me.

Only if the promotion or program has merit of its own, without regard to the forced "merit" of social engineering.

30. If I declare there is a racial issue at hand, or there isn't a racial issue at hand, my race will lend me more credibility for either position than a person of color will have.


31. I can choose to ignore developments in minority writing and minority activist programs, or disparage them, or learn from them, but in any case, I can find ways to be more or less protected from negative consequences of any of these choices.

False. One ignores such things at one's peril. And one had damned well better not speak out against such developments.

32. My culture gives me little fear about ignoring the perspectives and powers of people of other races.

Well, since my culture has nothing to do with it, this is a straw man argument.

33. I am not made acutely aware that my shape, bearing or body odor will be taken as a reflection on my race.

"Acutely" aware??

34. I can worry about racism without being seen as self-interested or self-seeking.

Only if I worry about racism that's directed toward non-whites.

35. I can take a job with an affirmative action employer without having my co-workers on the job suspect that I got it because of my race.

False. That pesky "white privilege" thing works both ways. Don't you just hate two-edged swords?

36. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it had racial overtones.

Only because I'm not a paranoid idiot who sees racism behind every rock and tree.

37. I can be pretty sure of finding people who would be willing to talk with me and advise me about my next steps, professionally.

Nope. I'm expected to figure it out myself. After all, I've got that "white privilege" thing going for me.

38. I can think over many options, social, political, imaginative or professional, without asking whether a person of my race would be accepted or allowed to do what I want to do.

Actually, I don't give a rat's rear end what "a person of my race would be accepted or allowed to do what I want to do".

39. I can be late to a meeting without having the lateness reflect on my race.

Just like anyone else.

40. I can choose public accommodation without fearing that people of my race cannot get in or will be mistreated in the places I have chosen.


41. I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help, my race will not work against me.


42. I can arrange my activities so that I will never have to experience feelings of rejection owing to my race.

No. But then, I really don't give a crap what others think of my race.

43. If I have low credibility as a leader, I can be sure that my race is not the problem.

No, incompetence is.

44. I can easily find academic courses and institutions which give attention only to people of my race.

Nope. Multiculturalism rules the day.

45. I can expect figurative language and imagery in all of the arts to testify to experiences of my race.

And everyone else's race, too. All you have to do is take off the blinders and look for it.

46. I can chose blemish cover or bandages in "flesh" color and have them more or less match my skin.

Nope. I have yet to find any that more or less matches anyone's skin.

47. I can travel alone or with my spouse without expecting embarrassment or hostility in those who deal with us.


48. I have no difficulty finding neighborhoods where people approve of our household.

I couldn't care less whether or not others "approve" or my household.

49. My children are given texts and classes which implicitly support our kind of family unit and do not turn them against my choice of domestic partnership.

Nope. The heterosexual, Judeo-Christian "family unit" is under attack from all sides.

50. I will feel welcomed and "normal" in the usual walks of public life, institutional and social.

Not a snowball's chance in Hell.

Well, that was fun. Now for something completely the same.

Extra Credit Section:

1. I can speak out against the destructive, corrosive influences in our society without being branded and intolerant, racist, bigoted homophobe.

2. If I need help, I can easily find a government-run, taxpayer-funded program that will do my work for me without holding me accountable for my own self-destructive behavior.

3. I can count on being promoted on merit alone, without being given preference because of my membership in some officially sanctioned minority group.

4. I can weasel out of any difficult situation, simply by accusing my adversaries of being racist or sexist.

5. I can disagree with the majority of members of my demographic group without being branded a "sell-out".

6. I am not made to feel responsible for the misdeeds of my forebears.

7. I can make a negative remark about a person of another race without being forced to undergo "sensitivity training".

8. My employer is allowed to hire and fire based on merit and competence, without any regard to "diversity".


Why Lefties Hate The Bible

(Hat tip to Endless Steven for providing this one.)

A quick glance at the Bible, and it's not difficult to see why the tight sphincter of the left further asphyxiates that bug up their tuchis. The Bible is full of nightmares for leftist red-tape-mongers and professional rule-imposers. Take these examples:

1. Moses parted the Red Sea without first performing an environmental impact study.

2. Jesus gave a Sermon on the Mount where he talked of giving to the poor, and spoke out against greed, and all without charging attendees $300 per ticket. (Barbra Streisand only).

3. The term "The Three Wise Men" is insensitive to the intellectually challenged. That should be changed to the "trio of educationally advantaged amateur astronomers".

4. Instead of gold, frankincense and myrrh, they should have brought hummus, incense and a representative from Child Protective Services.

5. The Virgin Mary didn't first meet with consultants from Planned Parenthood.

6. Ten plagues and still not a single person thought of nationalizing health care?

7. Adam didn't ask Eve for verbal as well as written consent before touching her.

8. Of course Cain killed Abel. He was obviously suffering either from bipolar disorder, low blood sugar, emotional abuse as a child, or societal neglect.

9. "The trials of Job" were nothing. Try getting a job with nothing but a Master's degree in Norwegian Art History – that's a test!

10. Too bad Greenpeace didn't have their own ark so they could have rammed Noah's Ark. You just know that, after the flood, Noah sold those animals to the circus.

11. The destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah could have easily been prevented if they would have passed hate-crime legislation sooner.

12. Jesus is one of the greatest teachers in history, but isn't a member of the National Education Association. In other words, God uses scab labor.

13. David slew Goliath simply because he was unfortunate enough to have been stricken with gigantism.

14. "The Last Supper" didn't offer an option for people on gluten-free diets, and the fat content on the food was not labeled.

15. The part about Jonah and the whale becoming entangled in tuna nets is conveniently passed over in the Old Testament.

16. God should have spent the seventh day not resting, but rather going around putting warning stickers on all potentially dangerous, really pointy things.

17. What's the big deal about Nebuchadnezzar spending seven years ingesting grass? Heck, Woody Harrelson's done it longer than that.

18. The Bible mentions nothing about obtaining the necessary permits to build the Tower of Babel.

19. People lived to be hundreds of years old without prescription-drug coverage? I don't think so.

20. Jesus turned water into wine, which was not very mindful of those who happened to be teetering on the brink of plunging down the stairs of their 12-step program.

21. Of all the wealth possessed by King Solomon, the amount he donated to environmental causes: $0.

And the thing about the Bible that drives the left the most crazy? People can find salvation without their assistance.