De' fliengde Vuogtlänn'r

Observations, rants, etc. from a guy who really gets around.


Overheard In The Check-Out Line

Customer: Those environmentalists are killing me. Last year, I got a lump of coal in my stocking. This year, all I got was a rock.


The Origins of Christmas Traditions

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones. Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were gone... only Heaven knows where.

He began to load the sleigh anyway. One of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Being frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. But at the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug. It broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang. An irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a beautiful, big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa! Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to put it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.


Living Simply

So, I've decided to aggregate all my little money-saving, time-saving, handy, helpful hints into yet another blog.

Comments will be enable for all but the very first post, which is dated so that it'll always remain on top.

As time goes by, I plan to add all my recipes (organized, of course), as well as some handyman-type tips.