De' fliengde Vuogtlänn'r

Observations, rants, etc. from a guy who really gets around.


Another Favorite Recipe

Elephant Stew


1 Elephant
10 Warthogs
100 kilograms tomatoes
half-ton potatoes
2 bags carrots
100 kilograms salt
1 wheelbarrow onions (heaped)
10 liters vinegar
20 liters chutney
4 Guinea fowl
2 rabbits (optional)


Hunt the elephant, warthog and guinea fowl. Hang guinea fowl to ripen. Cut elephant into edible chunks, (will take about a month). Boil the warthog with other ingredients (except guinea fowl) until nice and juicy. Now boil elephant chunks over high flames until tender. (will take about 4 weeks) and add everything together. Boil for another 5 to 7 days.

Produces about 3,500 helpings.

Note: If the above isn't enough, add the two rabbits. But be careful to use rabbits, and not hares. Some people object to hare in their stew.

Let 'Em Eat Cake

....if I can get a recipe for frosting, that is. I tried some of that stuff in the can. Bleh. Now I'm looking for a recipe to make a light frosting from scratch. (I even have my own scratch.)

Any ideas? Anyone?


What Happens When You Misbehave

You have to stand with your nose in the circle.

Some of us were talking the other day about punishments meted out by school teachers. I recounted that the most evil, diabolical, inhuman punishment I knew of was used by my high school English teacher. If you got caught misbehaving, the standard punishment was an hour in detention. Each teacher had his own form of penitence for miscreants. (And yes, I remember cleaning up the Chem Lab on at least one occasion.) One individual was rumored to have been sentenced to sweeping the parking lot with a hand broom.

However.... the worst one was the guy who taught Sophomore English, Senior English, and Senior Speech. If he kept you after school, you spent an hour doing..... nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

You didn't read. You didn't talk. You didn't listen to that transistor radio surreptitiously smuggled inside your jacket. You didn't even do homework.

You did nothing.

For an hour.

And if he caught you doing anything, the clock started ticking all over again. Needless to say, he kept very few students after school. And, to the best of my knowledge, there were no repeat offenders.

But the oddest was the one recounted by one of the Housekeeping supervisors. I had never heard of being required to stand with one's nose in a circle on the board. So she demonstrated.

I sure am glad I had my camera with me. :-)