The Anti-Boycott

So.... the illegal aliens are raising hell, clamoring for the same rights as those here legally, and they've decided to stage a "boycott" on Monday, 1 May, to show their impact on our economy.

OK. All's fair in love and war. Let's have our own "anti-boycott" that day. Let's not do any shopping until Monday, and then do as much shopping as we can on that day.

Should be interesting.

Phishing Expedition

I just got a call from a phone number I didn't recognize. So, I googled the number and discovered that it might be part of a scam. Here's the article.

Here are the suspicious numbers:

727-541-0001
305-371-7266
305-416-4513
786-718-9058
786-879-6669

How To Toughen Your Hands

Having worked not only as a carpenter, but also as a paper-pusher, I've discovered the downside of having this fair Saxon skin -- mostly in the form of splinters and paper cuts. However, there's an easy preventative that will not only toughen the skin, but also leave it feeling soft and smooth.

What you need: two large salad bowls (big enough to fit both hands in up to the writst), and a large (~20 oz) tumbler.

The procedure:

Fill the tumbler with ice. Then fill one bowl with hot water, as hot as you can comfortably stand it. If it causes pain, it's too hot. Fill the other with cold water; again, as cold as you can comfortably stand it. If it causes pain, it's too cold.

Start by immersing your hands in the hot water, swirling them around for about two minutes. You should feel the hear all the way thru to the bone. Then remove your hands from the hot water, shake the water off, and immerse them in the cold water. Go back and forth, ending in the hot water. You should have your hands in the hot water five times and four times in the cold water.

When finished, take your hands out of the hot water and shake them dry. DO NOT RUB THEM WITH A TOWEL; just let them air dry. If you really need to, you could put on some lotion containing aloe vera. Never use lanolin!

In just a few days, you should notice a difference. After a couple of weeks, you should notice a really big difference. Your hands will be soft and smooth, but your skin will be tougher.

What Makes You So Special?

This evening, I spotted Yet Another lament by someone who has come to the conclusion that men find her unappealing. (For some reason, it always seems to be women who find this Terribly Upsetting.)

One of Life's toughest lessons to learn is the not everyone is going to find you Unbelievably Appealing. No matter how Special your mommy told you you are, there are actually people in this world who are going to shrug and say "Meh". Get over it. The sooner, the better.

And while you're about it, I hope I can disabuse you of the notion that lots of other people are Incredibly Fascinating, with huge crowds of sycophants following them around, hanging on their every word. Some years ago, I spotted a posted of a very physically attractive young woman in a bikini. The caption said "No matter how gorgeous she is, someone somewhere is tired of putting up with her".

About a year and a half ago, I got in a spot of trouble with a certain Linksterette who had a rather large fan club, some of whom were singing her praises one night in one of the forums. I allowed as how she didn't particularly do anything for me and was treated to a reply along the lines of me not being her cup of tea either. (In all fairness, we have since met in person and -- although she still doesn't float my boat -- maybe she doesn't outright hate me.

Although it must surely surprise some people to find out that they're not the only ones on Earth who are not loved by all mankind, it must come as an ever bigger surprise to some others to find out that they are not universally admired. Some years ago, I had the displeasure of attending church with one of these little self-styled beauty queens who was greatly surprised to find out that I was not exactly a card-carrying member of her fan club. Imagine that. I believe my comment at the time was "If she's God's Gift To Men, I hope He kept the receipt".

What? You don't love me?

I'm crushed.

Up For Bid

It never ceases to amaze me, how stupid some people can be. A friend of mine is divorced, her husband having left her. And some of his stuff. In the process of cleaning up, she found a bunch of his CDs of Japanese music. She let him know she had them, and he said he'd pick them up. He never did.

So.... she boxes up the whole business and mails the box to him, return receipt requested. He never even bothered to go to the post office and pick up the package. Not very bright, huh?

She, OTOH, has an IQ in the triple digits. Since the CDs have been with her long enough to qualify as "abandoned property", she's decided to sell them to recoup the cost of mailing.

You can place your bid over here.

Fitness Update -- April 2006

04 April
Yesterday's work-out:
Distance walked: Unknown
Leg weights: yes
Push-ups: 200
Sit-ups: 200
No isometrics
Activity level: low
This morning's weight: 190

05 April
Yesterday's work-out:
Distance walked: Unknown
Leg weights: no
Push-ups: 200
Sit-ups: 200
No isometrics
Activity level: low
This morning's weight: 190

12 April
Yesterday's work-out:
Distance walked: Unknown
Leg weights: no
Push-ups: 200
Sit-ups: 200
No isometrics
Activity level: low
This morning's weight: 190

13 April
Yesterday's work-out:
Distance walked: Unknown
Leg weights: no
Push-ups: 200
Sit-ups: 200
No isometrics
Activity level: low
This morning's weight: 190

18 April
Yesterday's work-out:
Distance walked: Unknown
Leg weights: no
Push-ups: 200
Sit-ups: 200
No isometrics
Activity level: low
This morning's weight: 189

21 April
Yesterday's work-out:
Distance walked: Unknown
Leg weights: no
Push-ups: 200
Sit-ups: 200
No isometrics
Activity level: low
This morning's weight: 188

22 April
Yesterday's work-out:
Distance walked: Unknown
Leg weights: no
Push-ups: 200
Sit-ups: 200
No isometrics
Activity level: low
This morning's weight: 189

25 April
Yesterday's work-out:
Distance walked: Unknown
Leg weights: no
Push-ups: 200
Sit-ups: 200
No isometrics
Activity level: low
This morning's weight: 188

26 April
Yesterday's work-out:
Distance walked: Unknown
Leg weights: no
Push-ups: 200
Sit-ups: 200
No isometrics
Activity level: low
This morning's weight: 188

28 April
Yesterday's work-out:
Distance walked: Unknown
Leg weights: no
Push-ups: 200
Sit-ups: 200
No isometrics
Activity level: low
This morning's weight: 188


29 April
Yesterday's work-out:
Distance walked: Unknown
Leg weights: no
Push-ups: 200
Sit-ups: 200
No isometrics
Activity level: low
This morning's weight: 188

Wish List

OK, it's past my birthday, and Christmas isn't for another 8 months. But I really want one of these.

Eye Are A Ingehneer

Yeah, another quiz.

Engineering 100% Journalism 92% Psychology 83% Philosophy 83% English 83% Mathematics 75% Sociology 67% Linguistics 67% Theater 58% Art 50% Anthropology 42% Dance 42% Chemistry 42% Biology 42%

The Guy's Rules

Someone posted these on another site and I thought they were worth passing along. :-)

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Note: these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem . See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Learn to live with it.

1. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries and birthdays on a calendar.

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.